Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
