Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize