If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Just puked most of my soul out..
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
