you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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