Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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