Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
