their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
