**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize