i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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