today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize