How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
