i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
My apartment stinks of burning failure
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
