she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I wish they made helmets for livers.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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