I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
