I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
