things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
