1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
