I want to walk on stilts...naked
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
