So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize