miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Randomize
