my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I need moral support for this bender
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
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