Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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