Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
