Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
