I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
