Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
