Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
