Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
