I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
