At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
