Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
