I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just had sex on a roof
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
