In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
