Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize