He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize