I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
