Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
