I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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