glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
