worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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