Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize