Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
