Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Randomize
