She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
So squirting runs in the family.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
