What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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