Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
