Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
