he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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