Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Randomize
