WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
