I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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