Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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