If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Text me some of your sweat
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
