I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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