i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
