He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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