Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
