the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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