you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
