is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
