something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
you didnt know i had herpes?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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