They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Randomize
