Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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