Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
