I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
In America we eat man semen.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
