you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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