i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
