So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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