Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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