What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
